The Craziness that is the Hiltons!

Wonderful times and memories from my family to yours!

Christmas 2013

Christmas 2013

Thursday, March 13, 2014

Mommy Guilt

Disclaimer....So, this is just a rambling of how I'm feeling today, and in no way should be looked at, by anyone, as a judgement or criticism on them....okay, continuing on....

     I suffer from "Mommy Guilt".  I know lots of you moms out there suffer from this as well and have no idea how to deal with said guilt, but here's my taking on it.
     Ever since Austyn was 4 and in preschool, I have been soooooo beyond blessed to be at home for almost all the kids events at any given time on any given day.  Fast forward to elementary school and I became the homeroom parent for each kiddo and did so with enthusiasum and gymption!!  I watched several neighbor kiddos while their parents were working and sometimes when they weren't working, volunteered my fair share at church and throughout the normal school year as well.  I go to every assembly, fundraiser, play, school party, birthday lunches, you name it, I'm your gal!!!
     This school year I began working a steady job again, after watching my sweet niece for a year and a half and subbing with our school district for 6 months.  I now work 8 hrs each week as a preschool teacher outside the home and roughly 8-10 hours a week inside the home watching a neighbor's son and his sister, when they aren't in school. I still make it to every event school related, that I can, and extracurricular activities that the kids have, which are currently competition dance and karate.  Today marked the first day this school year that I haven't, neigh, didn't make it to a school event.
      The 5th grade at school is giving some presentations about what they have been learning in social studies on the American Revolution, and I have chosen to stay home this afternoon.........ENTER, MOMMY GUILT!!!!!  I have been running around like a chicken with my head cut off this week, that I haven't had the time to get dishes, laundry, cleaning done around the house, that I had to make the executive decision to stay home this afternoon and catch up on all of that because starting at 3:55 pm this afternoon, the kids will be home for Spring Break until Mon, March 24, and my husband will be working pretty much sun up to sun down over the next 2 weeks, as it's inventory time for him at work, and I needed to take an hour or 2 to get things in order before the crazy chaos is upon me!!!
      I know that doesn't make me a horrible mom, but in the back of my mind I'm thinking, "What if EVERY 5th grade parent shows up today except me(which will never happen)"?????  But that thought is always on the forefront of my mind when I chose that 1 time per year to take the time and hope my kids still love me and the effort I put into their lives, even though I missed that 1 thing!!!
     Anyone else have a take on this out there???  How do we remind ourselves how important our roles as Moms and Dads are, yet also remind ourselves that taking time to take care of the home and/or our well being is just as important ?!?!  God has blessed us all with many talents/gifts and I sometimes wish I could be a super mom and do it all, but have to slowly step back and remember that my kids see me as a parent who would give up anything and/or everything just to make them happy.  It's worth it all in the end, but until then, I sure wish I had a magic method of not feeling bad for missing the one thing, that I KNOW, will not scar my child from my not being there.

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Dealing with....errr, accepting CHANGE!!!

Okay, so the only constant in our lives is obviously change, and I for one, DO NOT LIKE CHANGE!!  It's great to see new things created to make our lives easier, to see medical advances that help to prolong/treat family/loved ones longer/easier and to see life continue to flourish and families created.  I know that all takes change, of course, but I don't like it on a personal level.....

As many of you know, we are in the middle/final phases of our 4th or 5th remodel of our home.  We did the initial facelift when we moved in on February 14, 2003, but we were halted with the completion of it with the early arrival of Austyn who came a month and 2 days after we moved in.  Phase 2 came when Abbie was born and Courtney took off 4 weeks from work in August/Sept of 2004.  We re-did the flooring in the main level of the house by ripping out carpet and replacing most of it with hardwood flooring, only a small patch of carpet remains in the living room, and vinyl sticky parque floor in the kitchen/dining room and the re-finishing of existing hardwood floors as well.  Phase 3 entered in with a remodel of the basement into a dedicated laundry room and family/kids play room in the basement.  We tore down walls, leveled floors, created new walls and storage units to make the basement functional.  The whole time we had in mind that one day we would make the newly remodeled family room into a bedroom when all the kids were older and needed their own space....that comes into play here now, but I'm getting ahead of myself.  I'm not entirely sure time wise when Phase 3 happened, having all our babies in 3 years makes for blurry memories sometimes:-)!! After Patrick was born in May of 2006, Courtney took off 6 weeks(if I remember correctly, again, blurry on those memories:-), and Phase 4 began.  We had 2 huge shade trees cut down so we could have a driveway, which we desperately needed, and Courtney and his Dad did all the grunt work to level out and create the area on their own before some great friends from church came and poured the cement....this took about 3-4 weeks of hard work/long days and the challenge of super hot days and dealing w/ a newborn preemie.  Now Phase 5 came in the form of new built in cabinets, they had always been there, but we tore them all out and created a new layout and updated look that would function for our family.  Throw in a bathroom remodel, painting of kids rooms and ours a couple times, new appliances, re-growing the back yard, which is now all for not w/ 2 dogs in our home, adding on to our front porch deck, re-doing our enclosed front porch w/ a new slider and windows and ceiling/paint...and maybe we've surpassed into Phase 10 now!!!
Our current project began back in October, when we decided that Austyn is in need of her own space now that she's almost 9, and we desperately needed a 2nd bathroom, so the remodel 2.0 began on our basement!!  We put up walls that had been originally torn down, decided to completely re-design our layout, moving the laundry room to the other side of the basement that it was one and creating the 2nd bath right off of that, and are currently in the final wall building process of Austyn's room, which is where the old laundry room used to be.  We also have re-organized my storage room to equip a home brew section, and we cleared out our enclosed 3 season porch that was full of crap, okay, some of it was family treasures, but most got thrown away, to created a long time dream of a hot tub room, AKA, Courtney's Man Cave, complete with beer on tap and tunes for all!!!
Now, through it all, Courtney and I, with the help of our parents here and there, have done it all!!  We hired out help w/ pouring the driveway, soley b/c it would of taken WAY TO LONG to do the driveway by the wheelbarrow full:-)!  I love that I married the handiest man in the world(he'll say that's not true at all, but I believe it 10000000 times over), but change is hard!
Before our current remodel, I had my laundry system down to a T!!!  We had a laundry shoot that was located in the kitchen, I know, weird, but it dumped right into the laundry room below it, and made doing laundry for 5 people, a piece of cake.  In the last month, our laundry situation has been lacking, to say the very least!!!  Since my laundry shoot was created into a heat/ac vent after our furnace went out 2 days in a row last week, and the fact that my laundry shoot was in Austyn's new room and not the laundry room anymore, made things very challenging to keep the system running smoothly:-(.  I am proud to announce that this week, I think I have found a new to us process that will work!!  Doing laundry 2 days a week, as suppose to everyone having their own day, has been a huge success and I was able to do all laundry in the 6 hours the big kids are in school and have it all put away and everyone is happy!!  BIGGEST ACCOMPLISHMENT OF THE YEAR, THUS FAR, for me!!!!!!  I am in need of a new organizing system for my storage room/stock pile, but will cross that road when the basement is closer to finished and I get the huge bunk bed out of the girls room, and across the street to our neighbors who are in need of it.
If anyone out there has any ideas as to things that work for your family in the organization dept, I would love to hear them!!!  I'm still having issues w/ my piles throughout our house, and the toys keep having babies it feels like, so any help would be greatly appreciated!!!
Hope I didn't bore you w/ the ramblings, but crazy is as crazy does, as I'm currently learning!!!

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Happy Anniversary to the best husband ever!!

So, today at 4 pm officially:-), my husband and I will celebrate 9 years of wedded bliss!!!  It's been such an honor and priviledge to walk alongside such a wonderful man for these last years!!  Yes, we've had our ups and downs(AKA, 3 children in 3 years), but we've mustered the strength and love to carry on and barrel through life's crazy adventures/rollercoaster.  We are going out for dinner tonight and that will be the 1st time since, ever, that we will be able to go on our exact anniversary since we got married!!!  We are going to take the tandem out for a ride, in true Hilton style and have dinner and drinks in peace;-).  If I knew how to post pictures, I sure would.  I'll pester my other half to get right on that for me!!!  Here's to another wonderful 50 years honey....I love you more than words can say!!!!

Friday, June 17, 2011

Happy birthday to ME!!!!!

So, the inevitable has happened, I'm officially old now:-)!!  Last year, turning 30 really didn't faze me at all, and quite honestly, I'm thinking 31 won't either, but still, 31 is old!!!!  My husband was so kind to text me this morning after getting to work, and wished me a Happy birthday, which when the kids read my text, they thought Daddy was wishing me a Happy Father's Day;-)-(I politely reminded them that Father's Day was on Sunday, not my birthday(it was the same day last year, so I'm not surprised by the response) and also, that I already had my Mother's Day(in combination w/ Patrick's birthday party) but thanks for the thought)....and then he sent another text asking if it was okay for him to officially refer to me as "his old lady", and of course, it was early, so I said sure, with no witty comeback/sarcasm response.  I wish I had one now, but I'm working on my witty comeback tonight, don't you worry honey!!!

A few months ago, Austyn was asking me about something and I told her, sure, that happened to me 13 years ago.....then I stopped and thought a moment and corrected the response to 23 years ago!!  Wow, I'm old enough to have had something happen to me 23 years ago and I still remember it;-)...PS-Thanks to my bestie, Jennifer for the awesome birthday card in the mail yesterday w/ the old man reminding me how old I am and how I can now excusably be forgetful!!

But really, I'm just so honored to have so much to look back on in my last 31 years!!!  It's been almost 9 years of marriage w/ my wonderful husband, I've had not 1, but 3 blessings in the last 8 years(yeah, they annoy me here and there, but I guess I'll keep them around and say they are mine most of the time;-), an awesome group of friends, lots of extended family, a wonderful blessing of 2 church families(my home church and the church my Dad pastors where I grew up) and everything in between!!!!  A HUGE THANK YOU to everyone who already has and for all the people who will take time out of their busy day to say Happy Birthday to little "old" Anna today and this weekend!!  You're such a wonderful group of people to make someone feel so special and wanted/needed!!!  GOD BLESS EACH OF YOU!!!!  

Monday, June 13, 2011

Craziness at it's best....

So, to say that our last week has been dull and boring, is being tooooo kind in soooo many ways!!  The girls finished out their school year last Monday, the 6th, which was followed by an evening of staying up until 9:30 playing outside:-)!!  Tuesday afternoon we had the girls dance pics, way overpriced, but always adorable:-).  Thursday had us at dance dress rehearsal for the recital over the weekend, from 7-9:45pm, which was following an hour of gymnastics class also!!!  Super busy doesn't begin to describe it I'm afraid, and we haven't even got to the kicker of the weekend.............THE ACCIDENT!!!
So, Austyn was helping me out by bringing in the dogs Friday evening, when she told me she was bleeding, which I, of course, put off as normal Austyn drama, so ignored.  Then my sweet, screaming 8 year old comes down the stairs w/ blood GUSHING out of her right foot.....panic set in immediately!!  SIDENOTE: To top things off, Courtney and Abbie were out on the Friday Night Tandem Ride that has just started here in Des Moines, which seems to be a normalcy lately when injuries happen....ugh!!  I swooped her up, all 62 lbs of her, like she was 10 lbs, and carried her to the bathroom to rinse off her foot to find out where it was bleeding from and how bad and if there was anything still stuck in it.  I had Patrick grab my phone, PRAISE THE LORD FOR THE $50 REPLACEMENT PHONE(my phone died over the weekend in Kansas by a very large glass of water) that had just arrived earlier the day before, and tried to get ahold of Daddy.  No go....of course...  So, onto Mimi(Courtney's mom), to which I commented, "YOU TOLD ME ONLY HEAD WOUNDS GUSH....YOU SAID NOTHING ABOUT FEET!!!!!"  We decided to drop Patrick off at their place and take Austyn to the walk-in, which closed 45 minutes later, we made it just in time, with the fastest appt, w/ the exception of the one we had today(thought she had strep/ear infection...apparently I'm slipping in my super human illness detection skills lately, no go on either:-().  The doc gave us 2 options, stitches or sterile strips( her slice was over an inch long and sliced kinda like you slice cheese on a mandolin, right on the bottom/back of the foot right next to the heel)....I choose the easy way, I wanted to avoid holding her down while numbing the heel, only for her to be hysterical while watching them stitch her up, and we were sent on our way with a very bandaged foot and a very heavy heart.....the doc told us she wouldn't be able to dance in her recital the next day, no matter which option we choose, so all that work for the year, seemed to be for not:-(.
Abbie ended up dancing by herself w/ the class, she was sooooo lost w/o her partner, but it reiterated to Austyn and us, that she wanted/loved to dance and we made the correct choice for her to continue dance next year!  We have had lots of tv watching and lounging for Austyn since Friday, along w/ whatever this virus she's also fighting now, that we have been about spent over the last week....geez, that was only a week's worth, oofftah!!!!
Today was good, thank goodness, with only the visit to the walk-in again for what seems to be a virus....and an awesome time walking to the closest elementary for both breakfast and lunch(free for children 18 and under all summer Monday-Friday), which was also bittersweet w/ a walk home in the middle of today's storms, if you live here in DM, you know what I'm talking about....crazy!!!!!  Patrick is taking a class called "Safety Town" at the same school from 9-11:30 am all this week, which is a fun safety of all things and a trip to the fire/police station on Thursday, which he has yet to know about, I forgot to tell him....and the girls and Emmie and I are chilling:-)!!  Daddy goes back to work tomorrow after having the last 11 days off, which it will be nice to have my routine back, but I LOVE the extra Daddy time we've had the last 11 days:-)!!

Well, I suppose I've done enough rambling for today, I'm off to move a sleeping monkey from my bed to collapse myself:-)!!  Have a great and eventful week!!!!

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

New Look!!!

Time for a new look, since I haven't written anything forever...sorry about that:-(.  I always want to write things and have ideas but I'm not anywhere near a computer, so my ideas fly out the window as fast as I get them.

We are now at the end of this school year, Patrick has graduated from pre-school and is ready for kindergarten RIGHT NOW!!!!!  We keep counting down the days until he gets to go to Hillside with his sisters, they can't seem to get here soon enough!!  Abbie is almost done with 1st grade, and has flied through with flying colors!!  She is so excited to be an almost 2nd grader and I can't believe she's still only 6, trust me, I asked her the other day whether she was still 6, and she laughed and said, "Of course Mommy, my birthday's not until August!!"  She seems so grown up for a little 6 yr old!  And speaking of size, Patrick is now just a few inches shorter than Abbie and they wear the same size shoes and could share clothes if Abbie wouldn't mind super heros and Power Rangers:-)!!  Austyn is a huge growing weed!!!!  She is now 8, getting ready for 3rd grade, and is now one of the tallest girls in her class and is beginning to show the early signs of puberty rearing it's somewhat ugly head, can you say hormonal mood swings in an 8 year old???!!!  She is always going and has TONS of friends that she now roams the neighborhood with.  She has powered through her 2nd grade year, and her teacher has almost survived her first year of teaching with a very rambunctious class too:-)!

The girls are deciding to part ways this next year in activities, as Abbie is going to pursue gymnastics, Austyn is going to continue with dance.  I was hoping that they would at least choose the same activity, but I also want them to be happy with what they are doing, and that they thrive in their chosen sports.  So here we go on the roller coaster next fall, but we will be getting a small break for a few short weeks, then back at the grind!!  Patrick is wanting to do flag football this fall, which should be lots of fun for him to learn an organized sport and the basics of football!!  It will be cute to watch him run around too:-)!

Mommy and Daddy are keeping busy with all the little things, oh and Daddy has been training for his upcoming 200 mile gravel race this weekend!!!  I'm soooo looking forward to a vacation, even if it is just for 3 days!!  We get to travel to a new state, and see another small town, which I love to do!!  I keep trying to figure out how I'm gonna cram everything into the weekend to get the maximum enjoyment out of the weekend.  I'm sure it will all come together!!  Well, here's hoping for a lot less time between now and the next posting!!  Good night all!!!